Stress...

...I feel like our life right now is just chaos! haha We have been a little stressed around our house lately, to say the least. Between working full time, commuting to and from everyday (although Jonathan has been a big help in this area lately since he no longer has class), Jonathan trying to finish up school, me studying for my CT registry exam (which I took yesterday and passed! woo hoo!), job hunting, loving and caring for my precious child who has been a little more of challenge lately :), and the day to day activities, life is like I said....CHAOS! Whew! We are exhausted!

We are so looking forward to seeing what God's plan for our family is in the next couple of months. Although moving and starting new jobs....starting over....is hard and stressful, but I really look foward to moving on and getting a fresh start. I really feel like I need a change in my life right now. I pray that God will lead us to a place where we can serve Him and grow together in Him as a family. I pray for a job for Jonathan where he can really use his talents and that he would be able to help people. I pray for a job for me that works better for me and Sadie (and my personality). I have come to the realization that staying at home with her will most likely not be an option, so I just hope for a job that "works better." A steady schedule, shorter commute, etc. God is truely testing our faith right now. I must remember that His plan is always the better plan, and so is His timing. God please know the desires of our hearts and know that we want to live a life according to you.

I have fallen behind on my blogging......Sadie update :) She turned 5 months old on the 17th! I can't believe it! We are still eating rice and oatmeal (twice a day right now), and we will be starting veggies and fruits next week. She LOVES to sit/stand up and wants to do it on her own so bad and she still only likes to roll from her back to her stomach (which she does almost immediately after being laid down). She is already growing out of size 2 diapers and is wearing 3-6 and 6 months clothes. We are very much struggling with sleep and any kind of schedule for that matter. She does not really take a pacifier (only when I force it in her mouth at night) and doesn't suck her thumb. I am the only thing she wants to "pacify" her, which we are very much trying to get away from. With my work schedule being different everyday, it makes her naptime different everyday, which makes eating different everyday, which makes my life even more difficult and then add in not sleeping at night to the mix and you have one exhausted momma and baby! I put her down at the same time everynight and try to feed her cereal and nurse her right before. I am letting her cry at night (usually for a good 30 mins. before I go in her room) and if she doesn't stop crying on her own I try and rock her and give her a pacifier (which only works sometimes and usually for a short period of time), or hold a pacifier in her mouth without picking her up (which hardly ever works). I ususally have to rock her for a minimum of 20 mins. in order to be able to lay her back down without her waking up again. She wakes a lot of nights every 2-3 hours. I am doing everything I can not to nurse or "pacify" her. This then results in me going to bed as early as possible too, which means I basically spend no time with my husband, which is killing me! I feel like I am running on fumes everyday! Let me just tell you that this does not help in the whole post partum depression department! So, if anyone knows of any good methods or books to read let me know.

Although I have a lot going and there are some things in my life that I am not happy with, I cannot deny all of the many blessings in my life. I have a wonderful husband who still loves me despite all my flaws, and beautiful and healthy baby whom I could not love more, a job with a wonderful boss and co-workers, a home, bills are paid, wonderful family, friends, and great babysitter. The list could go on and on. I hate that I focus on the negative so much sometimes, although the negatives seem to be a little consuming right now. God is good...ALL THE TIME!